Traumatized Evolution

It feels like life started a few years ago

I had my mind surrounded by mirrors

I had no escape, I had no choice but to run away

look where it got me 

it was so hard to numb the pain

I could’ve taken drugs, instead I found myself needing to heal what I needed to heal most, myself

a history of trauma passed down by generations came down on you all at once

an innocent child seeing things she shouldn’t have

where was your mother when you needed her most?

where was the life you wanted to finally show?

you had no innocent life

you knew all the rules by the age of five

what felt like forever, it was all in your mind

I stay up all night until the town awakens

because I fear those foggy dreams will cloud my mind again

who will stop this cycle?

Alone In Our Dreams

I could’ve met you before, but that wouldn’t change a thing about you

I’ve been in these shoes before, you have me on my feet

you’re the one who’s stepped in my dreams, this is the part people don’t really see

alone in our dreams, I seem to react to the things you say to me 

it’s running my mind again and again

alone in this dream of mine 

your words are wonderful but this feeling keeps on giving

I only see you in my arms, no feelings are bizarre 

in our dreams we’re alone

I Consume

when the truth reveals are you still a fan?

when they start to fall apart are you still a friend?

when I start to pray do I feel again?

these questions I consume, I don’t assume

when life’s not as it seems are you still a man?

so when I leave the past do I feel this wrath? 

why do I consume the things that aren’t true?

these are the questions I consume, is it all useless?

Everlasting Light

I’m forever blessed of this dream of mine, I’m forever seen in this light he shines

I’ve never felt so alive

this life can put you in phases that you’ve never been though, all alone in a cycle but there’s only one I pray to

I must stand in front of God, I tell him things I’ve forever lost and pray for a better day

when I had no courage at all, I tend to fill the void with pain

but this light is shining brighter with no pain but, change

I need this everlasting light

A Guilty Voice

so much wasted potential, I have nothing in my soul

I thought you were someone I could relate to

there’s not much beauty if this girl keeps abusing 

my mindset had refused it at the time

chose these names to call yourself but the one you get named is guilty

how much to get you off of my mind?

why can’t we grow apart and leave this all behind?

I close my eyes and remember exactly who you are 

just a whisper, just a voice

no communication but you’re still here today 

Watering Your Plant

not so innocent now, you’ve been used now you’re confused

her body’s been abused, for so long

I want to do what’s right and take my time to make you feel alright 

backs turned after her every move

watering your roots again, you feel me pouring down

I’m watering your plant now, I know you feel it 

you won’t understand now but give it some time I know you will heal it 

Nicknames

you said we never made love

I had you right on top

you told them we were never exes

he picked you up the last time, you wanted to see me less

you blame me because of my past

I should’ve known that we wouldn’t last

stealing friends away, a drug to them

the devil to me 

it’s hard to see you other than a memory

picked up my phone and never spoke once

you’re calling him nicknames, when I heard the information I knew I wasn’t insane 

I knew I never should’ve trusted you with all convincing tries 

knew I never should’ve trusted him with all these damning lies 

you got the next best thing in your palm

imitation, selfish image, impersonation of your last love 

Change Of Heart

I start to pray and don’t know what to say

a decaying flower in the grass

my bible hasn’t turned a page, I must find the words to say

mourning doves speak with chirps, my mind is filled up with wisdom 

I’m a change of heart 

I have no room to spare, you’re slowly withering away

but my heart won’t change without your presence 

so kick me with your lustful lies, I know I’m not the one who stayed in charge

it’s all about the love we shared, you saved my life then slept with spares 

I’m hurting bad, and I’m healing faster

my dreams are shattered but my life is ahead of itself 

Dead Man’s Body

I’m living in a dead man’s body

my visions been clogging up for some time now

can I escape reality before my time is up

who did I die for?

who did I lose for?

how can I imagine this in another man’s innocence 

my face is bloated from the trauma 

my scars ain’t healing in his honor 

I must shed my skin, while you hold me closer to a different life

visions cross my mind, I think of you all the time

I must find the truth so I could honor you

life is haunting, your presence is not

we live in a world of hate and have a savior of grace

I must find a way

Choose This Life

you didn’t want to choose this life, you’re still figuring it out 

separation from a lover is what we have in common 

Imma hold you still, facing all of our fears

you don’t have to leave the world behind

don’t keep your heart three sizes too small

you have my all so read this story to the world

you got some weed to your side, having dreams about our night

how could you picture me with someone else?

deeper scars, you ran to me when times got hard

let me be your guide, I wanna choose universal life

mistakes will be made, but I will not judge you for the path you take

the past is behind us so let’s keep moving forward now

never rush let’s keep this hush

we’re still making our way around this world